(Anyone who donates will receive a promo to my 143k followers – upon proof.)
Let me start by saying that I am super uncomfortable doing this. It is, by far, the most shameless and most embarrassing thing that I have ever had to do. But sometimes life punches you in the face and you end up needing more help than your current support system is able to provide.
That’s the position I find myself in now.
I have suffered from clinical depression and generalized anxiety for many, many years. And due to a relationship that ended in rape in the fall of 2016, I added PTSD to my list of diagnoses as well. Last fall (October 2017), I reached the point where I was unable to function in day-to-day life. I was unable to leave the house, unable to be around strangers, unable to interact with anyone – my personal relationships were suffering, my work was suffering, my whole entire life was suffering. As such, I entered a partial hospitalization program to help me with new coping mechanisms, skills, perfecting my med regimen, and participating in intensive talk/group therapy.
It was, by far, the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I could feel the lights turning on, could feel the weight on my shoulders lightning, could see my coping mechanisms changing to be healthier and more effective.
However, when I left the program shortly before Thanksgiving 2017 I also had to leave my job. The outpatient therapy program I’m doing required more daily participation than I could divert while still being able to do my job. They offered me more disability leave – but it wasn’t enough time for me to properly care for myself.
Now I find myself in the position of having no job at the same time as I have rising medical costs. I turned 26 this year and so was kicked off my parents’ insurance – and had to purchase through the marketplace. Between my premium every month, my copays for psychiatrist visits, my therapist no longer being covered by my new insurance, various skills groups that my psychiatrist and therapist require I join… My debt is rising every week and I am not currently making any money to help pay it down.
Please, please help me. I feel small and terrible and incredibly guilty asking strangers for help in this. But I can’t afford to keep going at this rate. I have been applying to multiple jobs every single day since Thanksgiving and still have nothing. I need help. I can’t afford to take care of myself and mental health without it.
Please help me. Every single dollar will help.
Thank you, M
For people asking how to donate: please click on the link at the top of this post.
To everyone asking about anonymity:
(I’m also going to do a little looking tonight and see if there’s an alternate website I can use that allows donations to be entirely anonymous if people are more comfortable with that.)
FMTTS is a good person, and a blogger I’ve followed seemingly forever. And I know it must be damn near killing her to ask for help. We’ve all been there. God knows I have back in the day.
You have no idea how much it’s killing me. Thank you so much for reblogging, @instructor144 – and for the kind words.
I have a very small following but it doesn’t hurt to share. Please help if you can, if you can’t donate consider sharing with your followers.
Tilly Bloom 